Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I think I need to vent...

Ok, so the meetings have started, I'm giving a quiz next week, the kids have a group project assigned.  This semester is in full swing.

…And I'm already stressed.  I'm already overwhelmed.

It started in a meeting.  We were asked to turn in our unit plans/lesson plans for the semester.  Seriously?  I'm still writing them.  This semester is different than last because I get to start from the beginning, teach the whole curriculum, instead of picking up where the last guy left off.  I'm excited about that, but I'm still writing.  I hadn't even figured out what each unit would be, let alone complied a semester's worth of lesson plans.  What?

Oh, and they're needed so that our evaluations can be scheduled.  Fabulous.

Last semester I got evaluated after just two weeks.  Two weeks.  Two weeks of teaching.  Ever.  No student teaching under my belt.  No finished master's degree, tons of practicum hours, no.  Two weeks of what-the-hell-did-I-sign-up-for, complete and total insanity.  I was still trying to figure out which office I was supposed to call for which issue (we have five offices), or which Academy I was in, or whose team I was on.  Meetings?  Am I supposed to go to meetings?  How do I know?  No one emails me.  No one knows my name yet.  I literally knew two people in the whole building (a building of 2400 students, another 200+ teachers, and countless administrative and support staff).  Yet, I was about to get evaluated.  Luckily I have an amazing Vice Principal who sat me down and explained the process, explained the rubric, it was all very helpful.  I was proud of myself when I came out of it all with a decent score.  Nothing to write home about, but decent for two weeks on the job.

Somehow this second round feels worse.  I feel panicked about it.  I feel nervous.  She's expecting improvement, and rightfully so, but I just don't feel prepared.

And new things keep coming up.  I'm not asking for special treatment because I'm new, but I almost want to send out a disclaimer:

 "I'm new.  If you email me, understand that I probably have no idea what you're talking about.  Explain it to me like I'm 5.  Do not use acronyms.  Thank you."


Jessi said...

Take a deep breath. You are amazing and smart and wonderful and everything will be fine. Because you are mighty.

I promise.

Lisa said...

:) Thank you Jessi. I think I need someone to follow me around and tell me to breathe.