Some day I'm going to figure out how to contribute to this blog on a regular basis. I opened the Etsy shop and somewhere between my toddler and my messing craft room, lost all motivation to make anything for it.
I have this problem when there is something looming on the horizon I am constantly distracted by it. It could be something as little as a playdate in a few days or as big as planning Ellie's birthday party. Back in May, I had no idea what we were going to do in June because I was so consumed with Ellie's party. Well, in two weeks I start graduate school. I feel frozen in time.
In my head I'm making lists and figuring out the timing of my classes and dropping Ellie off at her Nana's and what am I going to wear because none of my clothes fit or look nice enough. But my house is a mess and I'm so distracted from what's going to happen in two weeks that I've completely neglected all my knitting and sewing projects.
On top of this, I feel like a bad parent. I usually have some small level of parental guilt hanging around, but this week is very specific. When Ellie was little, for the whole first year of her life I kept a journal. I wrote in it nearly every day. I also managed to completely fill out her two baby books. Pictures, journaling, the whole deal. Well, since her first birthday, I haven't written a word in a journal. I hate it because she has said and done so many adorable, hilarious, amazing things, and I didn't write any of them down. It's not like I can go back and try to remember them all, and that makes me sad. I think I might start making a habit of writing them all on here. Maybe this will become my new Ellie journal. I'm not sure, though, because I loved having the hand written copy. My mom always made a big deal about having things with a person's handwriting. When that person is gone, having something in their handwriting can be really special, it shows a lot about who they were. My grandma made lists, my mom kept journals for all her daycare kids, I have handwritten recipes and notes in really old photo albums.
Starting school is going to be a big change in itself, but I want to make a goal to write more about Ellie, whether it's on here or in her own journal. And maybe with everything that will be happening, I'll feel like I have more to write about. Staying home can get monotonous, and maybe I ran out of things to say and inspiration to craft. These next two years are going to be stressful (but hopefully fun too!) and maybe writing will help keep things in perspective.
(Yes, this was just me rambling. I didn't really have a point, nothing special to take away from this. Just thinking while Ellie naps.)
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